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toodamnmanymusesYour Majesty, Your Royal Highness, Mr. President, Excellencies, Ladies and Gentlemen:
I am so very happy to be standing here in front of you today, to receive this year’s Nobel Peace Prize. I am both humbled, and deeply moved, that you would feel fit to bestow such a great honor upon someone such as myself.
I feel that this honor is just a way of recognizing the many talents that were bestowed upon me at birth. Talents that I have used to try and teach the world about love, kindness, and the kind of compassion that we all should show to our fellow man. People are hungry, and I have the means to feed them. People are sick, and I have the ability to cure them. People are in need of clothing, and I have my unlimited wealth and resources to take them shopping on Rodeo Drive.
While not everyone has these gifts to bestow, I feel that we all have something to give to our fellow man. We all have talents to use, that while not as good as mine, can still bring about a better world for everyone. We all have the time to spend with some kid who needs a big brother or sister to play ball with, or play dress up with, or just to talk to when they need to ask questions about sex. We all have extra food that we throw away every day that can go to some starving people, and if you don’t believe me then just ask your mothers, because I’m sure they would tell you the same thing.
In conclusion, I just want to say that we should all use our beauty and talents to help the world, and not use it to it to do something stupid like violate our probation like a total dumbass and then whine about it when we have to pay the consequences.
Just stop being stupid and give peace a chance people, seriously.
I am so very happy to be standing here in front of you today, to receive this year’s Nobel Peace Prize. I am both humbled, and deeply moved, that you would feel fit to bestow such a great honor upon someone such as myself.
I feel that this honor is just a way of recognizing the many talents that were bestowed upon me at birth. Talents that I have used to try and teach the world about love, kindness, and the kind of compassion that we all should show to our fellow man. People are hungry, and I have the means to feed them. People are sick, and I have the ability to cure them. People are in need of clothing, and I have my unlimited wealth and resources to take them shopping on Rodeo Drive.
While not everyone has these gifts to bestow, I feel that we all have something to give to our fellow man. We all have talents to use, that while not as good as mine, can still bring about a better world for everyone. We all have the time to spend with some kid who needs a big brother or sister to play ball with, or play dress up with, or just to talk to when they need to ask questions about sex. We all have extra food that we throw away every day that can go to some starving people, and if you don’t believe me then just ask your mothers, because I’m sure they would tell you the same thing.
In conclusion, I just want to say that we should all use our beauty and talents to help the world, and not use it to it to do something stupid like violate our probation like a total dumbass and then whine about it when we have to pay the consequences.
Just stop being stupid and give peace a chance people, seriously.
