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toodamnmanymuses"There's enough sorrow in the world, isn't there, without trying to invent it." E.M.Forster, A Room With A View.
K’tanya didn’t go to the funeral, or to the wake that had followed. To go would be to admit that he was actually dead, and that wasn’t something that she was willing to do. As long as she stayed away, and didn’t listen to the news or check her e-mail, then she could keep telling herself that it had all been nothing but a big prank that his bastard of a husband had played on her. There was something to be said for plausible deniability after all.
Eventually however, she found herself drawn to the cemetery where they had been buried. She could ignore a great many things she had discovered, but Aidan had never really been one of them. Well, not counting those couple of years when she had been working on her modeling career, or the months when she had been dating that hot actor from the movie they made about golden guys in red underwear. Even then though, she had thought about him once in a while, when she wasn’t busy with other things. Plus, she had totally left him that cute puppy, so there.
Now though, she stood there in the cold, looking at a stone that marked his grave, and she couldn’t deny it anymore. He was dead. He had left her alone in this cold, dark world with no one to comfort her. Well, almost no one. There were still a few people here and there that might want to comfort her. However it didn’t matter because it was him that she wanted, at least at the moment.
Sighing softly, she moved to the side, her heels digging into the dirt and dead grass over on Wes’ side of the grave. Okay actually she may have kicked at it a bit, muttering under her breath as clumps of grass and dirt went flying off in various directions. Also, there may have been some salt thrown down over the top as well. Chucks of it really, like the kind that people put in their water softeners.
Finally though, she left it alone and instead she lay down on Aidan’s side with her face pressed to the ground. Then she wept. A lot. The kind of crying that was made of those great ragged sobs that left her with the hiccups. Only, she didn’t have any of those great stings of snot or anything, because that would be ugly. Instead, she cried in that way that left her with the kind of sad beauty that made all men (and most women) want to give her lots and lots of, comfort. Yeah, that’s it. Comfort.
She sobbed there on his grave, her heart forever broken (at least for the moment), until she had no tears left to shed. She wanted to join him down there in the dark. To be with him forever as they were meant to be. She wanted to simply sink down into the dirt and forget about her life and everything in it. Nothing mattered except for him. No one could possibly fill the great void that had opened up in her life now that he was….
Suddenly she glanced at her watch and gasped, quickly getting to her feet. Dusting herself off, she grabbed her mirror and checked her reflection really quickly. Adding a quick dab of lipstick, she nodded and slipped her things back into her purse. “Sorry, Aidan, but I’ve got a date with this really hot guy and I don’t want to be too late. We’ll do this again tomorrow, kay? Love you!”
And with one last kiss blown to Aidan, and one last kick to Wes’ side of the gravestone, she was off.
K’tanya didn’t go to the funeral, or to the wake that had followed. To go would be to admit that he was actually dead, and that wasn’t something that she was willing to do. As long as she stayed away, and didn’t listen to the news or check her e-mail, then she could keep telling herself that it had all been nothing but a big prank that his bastard of a husband had played on her. There was something to be said for plausible deniability after all.
Eventually however, she found herself drawn to the cemetery where they had been buried. She could ignore a great many things she had discovered, but Aidan had never really been one of them. Well, not counting those couple of years when she had been working on her modeling career, or the months when she had been dating that hot actor from the movie they made about golden guys in red underwear. Even then though, she had thought about him once in a while, when she wasn’t busy with other things. Plus, she had totally left him that cute puppy, so there.
Now though, she stood there in the cold, looking at a stone that marked his grave, and she couldn’t deny it anymore. He was dead. He had left her alone in this cold, dark world with no one to comfort her. Well, almost no one. There were still a few people here and there that might want to comfort her. However it didn’t matter because it was him that she wanted, at least at the moment.
Sighing softly, she moved to the side, her heels digging into the dirt and dead grass over on Wes’ side of the grave. Okay actually she may have kicked at it a bit, muttering under her breath as clumps of grass and dirt went flying off in various directions. Also, there may have been some salt thrown down over the top as well. Chucks of it really, like the kind that people put in their water softeners.
Finally though, she left it alone and instead she lay down on Aidan’s side with her face pressed to the ground. Then she wept. A lot. The kind of crying that was made of those great ragged sobs that left her with the hiccups. Only, she didn’t have any of those great stings of snot or anything, because that would be ugly. Instead, she cried in that way that left her with the kind of sad beauty that made all men (and most women) want to give her lots and lots of, comfort. Yeah, that’s it. Comfort.
She sobbed there on his grave, her heart forever broken (at least for the moment), until she had no tears left to shed. She wanted to join him down there in the dark. To be with him forever as they were meant to be. She wanted to simply sink down into the dirt and forget about her life and everything in it. Nothing mattered except for him. No one could possibly fill the great void that had opened up in her life now that he was….
Suddenly she glanced at her watch and gasped, quickly getting to her feet. Dusting herself off, she grabbed her mirror and checked her reflection really quickly. Adding a quick dab of lipstick, she nodded and slipped her things back into her purse. “Sorry, Aidan, but I’ve got a date with this really hot guy and I don’t want to be too late. We’ll do this again tomorrow, kay? Love you!”
And with one last kiss blown to Aidan, and one last kick to Wes’ side of the gravestone, she was off.
