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toodamnmanymusesOnce upon a time there was a stunningly beautiful girl who lived all alone in a house made of wood. No, seriously, it was wood. Not marble or stone. Wood. How cheap is that?
Anyway, she lived in this crappy little house because she was pining over the man that she was sure she was destined to marry. Not only was she pining, but she was also yearning and longing and obsessing over him. Seriously. It was pretty damn pathetic. Especially since the guy was obviously a total dumbass if he couldn’t see what a catch she was, and had instead been running around behind her back with the village idiot. That is, until they both ended up dying a horrible, fiery, death. Teach him.
So there she was, pining over a dumbass while living in a crappy house, when suddenly there appeared before her a…
No, it wasn’t a fairy godmother. Jeez, why is it that you people always think these stories needs to have one of those old hags. Get a life and stop reading Cinderella for Gods sake.
Now where was I? Oh yeah…
When suddenly there appeared before her a strikingly handsome Prince on his magnificent steed. Of course he was struck by her obvious perfection, and he instantly asked her out on a date. See, they would have just been married right away, but the strikingly handsome Prince had just come off this really bad relationship with this trashy redhead who looked absolutely nothing like the stunningly beautiful girl. Nothing. At all.
In any case, they went out on this perfect date to this wonderful place that had the best of everything, because nothing less would do. Then in order to further impress the girl, not that he needed to but still it was nice, the prince performed many feats of strength and daring that showed off how totally talented and hot he was, and it was good. The girl wasenchanted captivated by his awesomeness, and soon they set up yet another date.
Which of course, was when the strikingly handsome Prince proposed to her in the happiest place on earth, because he wasn’t a dumbass like some people. The girl accepted, knowing a good thing when she saw one. I mean seriously, he was hot, rich, and he had a title. What girl in her right mind isn’t going to scoop that up? Well, other than those trashy redheads that the girl looks nothing like. No, really. It’s like, apples and bananas or something.
Anyway, the beautiful girl soon goes about setting up the wedding of the millennia, which will totally make TomKat’s look like a backyard barbeque in Arkansas. The dress is perfect, the flowers are expensive, and the reception is going to totally blow people’s minds.
And then, when the celebrations are over and the Prince and his new Princess are finally alone together as they were always meant to be, two hearts beating together as one and surrounded by the lap of luxury…
Well, you all know how this story ends, right?
Anyway, she lived in this crappy little house because she was pining over the man that she was sure she was destined to marry. Not only was she pining, but she was also yearning and longing and obsessing over him. Seriously. It was pretty damn pathetic. Especially since the guy was obviously a total dumbass if he couldn’t see what a catch she was, and had instead been running around behind her back with the village idiot. That is, until they both ended up dying a horrible, fiery, death. Teach him.
So there she was, pining over a dumbass while living in a crappy house, when suddenly there appeared before her a…
No, it wasn’t a fairy godmother. Jeez, why is it that you people always think these stories needs to have one of those old hags. Get a life and stop reading Cinderella for Gods sake.
Now where was I? Oh yeah…
When suddenly there appeared before her a strikingly handsome Prince on his magnificent steed. Of course he was struck by her obvious perfection, and he instantly asked her out on a date. See, they would have just been married right away, but the strikingly handsome Prince had just come off this really bad relationship with this trashy redhead who looked absolutely nothing like the stunningly beautiful girl. Nothing. At all.
In any case, they went out on this perfect date to this wonderful place that had the best of everything, because nothing less would do. Then in order to further impress the girl, not that he needed to but still it was nice, the prince performed many feats of strength and daring that showed off how totally talented and hot he was, and it was good. The girl was
Which of course, was when the strikingly handsome Prince proposed to her in the happiest place on earth, because he wasn’t a dumbass like some people. The girl accepted, knowing a good thing when she saw one. I mean seriously, he was hot, rich, and he had a title. What girl in her right mind isn’t going to scoop that up? Well, other than those trashy redheads that the girl looks nothing like. No, really. It’s like, apples and bananas or something.
Anyway, the beautiful girl soon goes about setting up the wedding of the millennia, which will totally make TomKat’s look like a backyard barbeque in Arkansas. The dress is perfect, the flowers are expensive, and the reception is going to totally blow people’s minds.
And then, when the celebrations are over and the Prince and his new Princess are finally alone together as they were always meant to be, two hearts beating together as one and surrounded by the lap of luxury…
Well, you all know how this story ends, right?
