TM - 195 - What makes someone a hero? What makes someone a villain?

[toodamnmanymuses]

Obviously you people haven’t been watching enough Disney cartoons. See, here’s the way it’s supposed to work.

There’s this beautiful girl, who’s maybe just a little bit strange in one way or another and who just doesn’t seem to fit in with the rest of the crowd. Maybe she’s that fish who wants a nice pair of legs to go dancing, a girl who just wants to read some dusty old books in a forgotten library, or a princess who’s hidden away in a forest with a bunch of old fairies with color issues, some way smarter than usual fuzzy creatures, or seven short guys in serious need of a personal trainer. Point is, she’s beautiful and in need of some serious saving.

Now, since she obviously needs saving, then that means that there’s some butt ugly villain roaming around making her life a living hell. Like for instance, some strange looking woman who needs four pairs of shoes just to take a walk, a guy who thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips and who just wants to get hitched so he can say he’s got the hottest babe in town, a lady who’s got some serious hot salsa breath issues, or maybe just some bitchy queen who can’t handle the fact that she’s getting wrinkles and cellulite. Now, sometimes these people might not seem like villains, but they must be or else the beautiful girl wouldn’t be having all these damn issues.

Enter the hero. This would be the guy who risks his life to defeat the villain so that he can live happily ever after with the girl.

So, the hottie who ends up with the beautiful girl is the hero, and the dumbass who’s dead is the villain.

Duh.

Comments

[aces-are-rare.livejournal.com]

Pah. *rolls eyes*

Who says the guy gets to be the hero. The girl should rescue herself, thank you very much.

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

Well of course the girl could rescue herself. That goes without saying.

She just lets the guy rescue her so she knows which guy is man enough to marry.

[aces-are-rare.livejournal.com]

Assuming she wants marriage, that is.

Course the girl would be smart enough to let the guy do the hard work.

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

Obviously. Everyone knows that we have the guys wrapped around our fingers after all.

[aces-are-rare.livejournal.com]

The human ones maybe. Gallifreyans are a little harder.

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

I don't know., daddy doesn't seem to be all that much harder than humans most of the time.

[aces-are-rare.livejournal.com]

Your dad's not human? So that makes you...

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

Well, technically I'm half demon and half angel, but my adopted father is The Doctor. Tenth incarnation, to be specific.

[aces-are-rare.livejournal.com]

The Doctor?

Weird coincidence.

I travel with The Doctor. A few regenerations earlier.

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

Really? Isn't the Tardis just the coolest thing?

[aces-are-rare.livejournal.com]

It's the most brilliant thing ever- not counting the Doctor, of course.

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

Of course!

[aces-are-rare.livejournal.com]

So how'd that happen, you being adopted by the Professor?

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

Oh, well the first time I managed to get away from my bastard father who tortured me and killed my mother *emo tear*, I was probably about five years old. So there I was, this little waif all alone in the muddy streets of some muddy village when suddenly there he was, picking me up and trying to get me to tell where I belonged. Well, once I told him about my situation, he decided to adopt me and the rest is history.

[thestraychild.livejournal.com]

Wow.

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

I know, right? I mean everybody should know the answer to that question.

[thestraychild.livejournal.com]

Seriously? I'm impressed.

I don't believe anyone's ever laid it out quite like that before.

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

*preens* Well it's perfectly obvious if you think about it. Especially since these kinds of people only really exist in fairy tales anyway by the strictest definition.

[thestraychild.livejournal.com]

A pity, really. Since the world could do with a few more heroic types.

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it could. I suppose we'll just have to take care of ourselves until they come along.

[thestraychild.livejournal.com]

You're quite right.

[cynical-shadow.livejournal.com]

You're still my hero.

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

*kiss* And your still one of the sweetest guys I know.

[cynical-shadow.livejournal.com]

Quite a compliment from such a wonderful lady.

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

*giggle* Now you're just trying to make me blush.

[cynical-shadow.livejournal.com]

Well it's certainly true. *smiles*

[and-you-love-me.livejournal.com]

Exactly!!!

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

I swear, some people are just so dense. *shakes head* At least you understand me!

[and-you-love-me.livejournal.com]

I totally understand you!!! And your pain at the dumbasses of the world!!!

[idealized-sue.livejournal.com]

I swear that sometimes they should only allow us smart people to have kids.

[you-rock.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to say that K'Tanya is a delightful and imaginative character. Not only is she hysterically funny, but you also manage to poke fun at the Mary Sues of the world in a sweet manner, somehow. Bravo!